Choosing the fastest checkout line can be difficult, but if you want to get to the front of the line as quick as possible, here’s a tip: drop your pants and start massaging the necks of the people in front of you.
“Eww, these eggs are all cracked and broken,” I said as I looked into the carton. “I hope these ones are better,” I added, stooping down to pick up another carton. “I don’t think so,” Nancy replied. “Maybe if we try one of the cartons you didn’t smash with your foot,” she suggested.
“I think we’re gonna need another cart,” I said as I threw the Go-gurt on top of the rest of the food. “Why?” Nancy replied. “Because, don’t look now,” I whispered, “but the lady I stole this one from is coming right for us.”
I watched with a smile as the little girl closed her eyes tight, made her wish and threw the penny into the fountain. “What did you wish for?” I asked. “A new kind of bubblegum that makes you fly when you blow bubbles,” she said. “Excellent,” I replied, before lowering the gun and silently slipping away into the nearby crowd.
“I wish Chic-fil-A was open on Sundays,” Nancy said as we gazed at the darkened restaurant in the corner of the food court. “I know,” I said. “Just think how many of those soulless chickens could be dead by our hands with that extra 24 hours a week.”